I’ve repeated that line so many times and in so many places I can no longer categorize its use. It’s a great one for school variety shows, amateur theater productions and chorales, church choirs, political debates and even sporting events. Put me in coach. No, you stay on the bench!
It’s another way of saying, “Just because your head is shaped like a hubcap doesn’t mean you’re a big wheel.” That one belongs to neighbor Jim. I look forward to capturing more of his folksy wisdom. Now that he knows I’m taking notes they’re flying fast and furious.
My grandmother had favorite phrases for lots of occasions. I only wish I’d written them down instead of relying on my memory.
One of hers was, “What falls to the floor comes to the door.” I guess saying this is a nice distraction for clumsy types to get observers thinking about something other than picking errant silverware off of the kitchen floor. Is a knife a man, a spoon a woman? How does that work? Does it ever work? I mean, “I was born at night, but not last night.” Don’t expect me to stand by the front door and await guests every time you lose your grip on a fork.
Another of Grandma’s favorites was, “Friday night dreams come true.” I’ve never tested this, but feel free to keep a notepad on your nightstand and tape your nocturnal imaginings to the refrigerator for future reference. How long does it take for these dreams to materialize? If I master lucid dreaming can I take advantage of this cause and effect?
I’ll be updating this from time to time. Summer is a good time for inside activities like this. To go outside is foolish when it’s “Hotter than the hinges of Hell.” One interesting note: Hell’s Hinges is a 1916 silent film featuring William S. Hart and Clara Williams. Now you know.
I’ll end with a classic line by my favorite humorist, Mark Twain. He said, “It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”
With that, I will close my mouth and suppress my desire to perform further.
😎
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