Disney World Free!

The “No-Parks” Disney World Option

Or how I spent $750 without stepping foot in Disney World

Some might say that Disney World is just for kids, an artificial place in the middle of nowhere. They are correct, and they should stay away to reduce the crowds for the rest of us. But if you like to tap into your inner child, be catered to in one of the cleanest, safest places imaginable and you have the time to spend on pure enjoyment, then only one obstacle remains: it is not only the most Magical Place on Earth, it is one of the most expensive.

We are lucky to live only about two hours by car from this wonderland. In the 1970s it was carefully and discreetly carved out of Florida swampland in a place that is now an entertainment destination the size of San Francisco. The city of Orlando that blossomed around it is similarly and densely populated with other thematic parks that brazenly hopped onto the coattails of Disney’s success.

If you’re interested in the history of Disney World, the evolutionary leap made by Walt Disney following the success of California’s Disney Land, I highly recommend the six-part documentary called The Imagineers, available on the Disney+ streaming service. Strolling through these carefully conceived parks, it’s hard to imagine them once existing only as ideas sketched on paper. Entire engineering and creative disciplines emerged to support the elements necessary to bring the parks to fruition.

For some, a vacation in Disney World is a once in a lifetime occurrence. Several days at a Disney hotel within the property, with passes to several theme parks, transportation, meals and merchandise can cost many, many thousands of dollars. On a recent visit, we priced a room at the Polynesian Resort. Mind you, this is only a place to sleep and regroup after an exhausting day of activity. And this alone can set you back perhaps six hundred dollars per night. For many, this is unattainable, and if you’re bringing the kids, it is a week you definitely need to time properly. They should not be too young to remember the stay, nor old enough that they will only go along begrudgingly and fail to fully appreciate the investment.

But for those of us who live nearby, retired and with children who have made it through college, there is an option I’d like to describe that reduces the financial burden at a time when you may be on a fixed income. What I’m about to propose is that you visit Disney World without stepping foot in any of the theme parks. Gasp! What? No Space Mountain or Cinderella’s Castle? No Tower of Terror or Expedition Everest? What about Spaceship Earth and Na’vi River Journey, Star Wars and Toy Story?

No, you’ll avoid those entirely, and here’s how.

For two days in early December, a time in Florida when the weather can be perfect, cooler and drier than most of the year, and coinciding with the ever expanding Christmas season, we spent one night and two days at Disney World. It cost us nothing. I say that knowing full well that we spent a lot on food, but in usual terms, our visit cost very little. I will admit to a one-night stay at a nearby Airbnb, about $149, and whatever gas was consumed by a round trip totaling just over 300 miles. You may need to fly there.

We arrived at check-in time at our condo near Disney Springs, unloaded our bags and freshened up, then made the short drive to the “Orange” parking garage attached to the marketplace. Parking is free. We explored the expansive themed retail, dining and shopping concourse at our leisure and strolled through the Christmas Tree Trail that features dozens of Disney-decorated trees. It even “snowed” in a couple of spots. The trail is free, and decorations abound throughout the Springs from November 8th to January 5th. We later chose to have a drink outside while waiting for our table at the Steampunk style “Edison” restaurant. These were optional expenses over which we had full control.

The next morning we headed back to the free garage at Disney Springs and began our journey through all of Disney World. Our first stop was the hot air balloon ride (actually helium) that is tethered not far from the garage entrance. This short but spectacular ride cost $20 per person. Are you seeing the pattern here? Disney offers tons of free ways to get around in their World, certain that you’ll be unable to resist delicious food, that special Disney shirt or toy, or even a balloon ride.

From there we boarded a water taxi that took us on a leisurely free ride down a lovely canal surrounded by manicured lawns and stands of shady trees. The last stop was at the Port Orleans Resort - Riverside complex, a Louisiana Bayou setting with a down home appeal. Anytime we stopped at a resort we made sure to check out the fantastic Christmas decorations on display in their lobbies. At other times of the year the lobbies are still gorgeous but lacking in this seasonal splendor.

From Port Orleans we grabbed a free Disney bus. They go everywhere and have digitally displayed schedules at the stops. We never waited more than a few minutes for a ride. Next stop, Hollywood Studios to transfer onto the new Skyliner.

If you haven’t been to Disney World for a while, there is a new transportation option that’s as accessible, useful and exciting as the legendary Monorail. Like the Monorail, the Skyliner gondola lift system has specific destinations, five of them emanating from a central hub at the Caribbean Beach Resort, which we explored on foot and through lobbies.

Eventually we made our way from Epcot to the old standard, the Monorail, with its circular route through the Grand Floridian, Polynesian and Contemporary resorts. Of these the Floridian had the most spectacular Christmas display, complete with a life size gingerbread house that sells a variety of seasonal treats.

As do most experienced Disney travelers, we planned a short afternoon siesta that refreshed us for another session. But now it was Saturday evening and the Springs’ garages were all filled to capacity. Fortunately we had booked reservations at a Polynesian restaurant that put us on a guest list for free parking at the resort, so we drove to dinner.

Our final destination was the Wilderness Resort, reachable by free water taxi. Our trip was in the dark, with fireworks visible in the distance. Of the resorts we visited, this was possibly the most impressive. The experience is immersive and the attention to detail is beyond compare. Through the doors, you are transported instantly to a vast lodge the likes of Yellowstone at Christmas.

We have made a subsequent trip like this that proved equally enjoyable. The variety of food options and configurable transportation choices prevent repetition. But I must admit, the theme parks are tantalizingly close, and the old Disney fan in me can’t help but want to take another spin on the Mad Hatter's Teacups or sail through the Pirates of the Caribbean again. And nothing really compares with staying at a Disney Resort. 

If I’m sending mixed signals here, that’s by design. There’s no wrong choice to be made. I just feel sorry for the poor souls who may recently have had their dream trips canceled due to the unimaginable closure of Disney World for the next few weeks or months. We’re all going to need a trip to Fantasy Land when this is over, especially the kids!

😎

If you like fiction and you're in the mood for over 50 short stories, please consider buying "Natural Selections," at Amazon.com.

Or if you'd prefer seventy non-fiction stories inspired by a town in Illinois, please consider buying Park Ridge Memories also on Amazon. Click on the image below.

 

I Wanna Be Sedated

A concert took place at Chicago’s iconic Park West music theater in May of 1980. It was unlike any other venue I’d experienced before, and possibly since. With a capacity of only about one thousand, it was intimate and had great acoustics. Not that quality sound was required for the band we went to see. The Ramones could overpower a nightclub, a stadium or anything in between.

Four of the original band members were there: Dee Dee, Joey, Marky and Johnny. All had taken the stage surname Ramone, though none were related. At that time they had released five albums with limited commercial success, but would be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of fame in 2002. As an early entry during 1974 from Queens in New York to the exploding Punk music genre, they had a loyal following that would develop into cult status over the following years. Perhaps you’ve seen their trademark black t-shirt emblazoned in white with a parody of the U.S. presidential seal surrounded by their names. In the center is an eagle holding a club in one talon. I bought one at the show in 1980. You can still pick one up online for $5.99.

The loud, intensely rapid electric thrumming sound of their songs, which average 2 minutes and 37 seconds, almost immediately causes a listener’s heart rate to ramp up to 165 beats per minute. There’s no sitting at a Ramones concert, which by virtue of the short song lengths is not all that long. The crowds were young, on their feet and dancing the entire time, specifically doing the Pogo. As the name implies, this is a frantic jumping up and down that my now 65 year-old knees would not endure for even one playing of Blitzkrieg Bop or Suzy is a Headbanger. But at that time we were young and we Pogo’d the night away.

This is all background information for a recent brief encounter I had outside a diner in Port Charlotte, Florida. There’s no punk rock in town, at least not among the predominantly geriatric crowd that flocks here during “season” to escape winter in the frozen north. As I stood outside waiting for a table to become available I noticed a disheveled younger man, waiting alone on a single red lacquered bench next to his bicycle. He wore a woolen knit cap, a beat up jacket and what appeared to be bicycle pants. It’s possible he was delivering for GrubHub or Postmates, but his unshaven face, toothless grin and rather uneasy expression was more characteristic of someone who is homeless, waiting for a handout of food. Indeed, the owner soon appeared with a plastic bag filled with carryout boxes. This is not a restaurant that typically offers this service, but the owners have a reputation for hard work and extreme kindness.

On the young man’s black hat, facing front and center in bold white letters was a single, memorable name. I smiled. Catching his eye, I gestured toward the hat and simply said, “Ramones!” For a second he looked startled, discovered, but then his own smile broke out, ear to ear.

            “That was one of the best concerts I’ve ever been to!” I said.

He proceeded to tell me about the times he’d seen them, a short story about a prom he skipped in order to make it to a show, and some general small talk about great music and good times. Over an otherwise insurmountable cultural and generational divide, we bonded.

My table became available, I wished him a great day, and we parted, friends for a moment, passing through life on very different and divergent highways.

A lingering warm feeling lasted through breakfast and into the morning. When I got home I called up a few of the old tunes on Spotify. It only takes about ten minutes to listen to their four biggest hits, but like the encounter earlier, the music ignited something deeper, powerful, and lasting. It gave me more energy than my morning coffee, and more importantly, it made me happy.

😎

If you like fiction and you're in the mood for over 50 short stories, please consider buying "Natural Selections," at Amazon.com.

Or if you'd prefer seventy non-fiction stories inspired by a town in Illinois, please consider buying Park Ridge Memories also on Amazon. Click on the image below.

 

The Sitting Evil

Shortly before I retired, the saying, “sitting is the new smoking,” was popularized by Dr. James Levine, Director of the Mayo Clinic at Arizona State University. This catchy phrase is supported by recent research that shows a reduction in the risk of cancer, type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular disease and back pain with one simple lifestyle change: reduce the time you spend sitting. This is generally easier said than done.

Great. I had just about wrapped up the final twenty-seven years of my career, mostly desk-bound, and indeed experiencing weight gain and muscle stiffness that I battled when I got home during evenings and on weekends – if I wasn’t too tired.

My new Apple Watch has a function that gently reminds me to stand up once every fifty minutes and move around a bit. I could have used this to great benefit in the workplace on days other than those when donuts at the secretary’s desk similarly reminded that it was time to move. The watch uses an accelerometer to identify movement, so arm motion equivalent to changing from a seated to a standing position followed by a minute’s walk around with your arms swinging helps to register this. Come to think of it, fifteen feet to the donut box followed by a mouth salute with a Bavarian cream might not have passed muster.

And now here I sit in a new lifestyle replete with sedentary dangers, my little watch tickling my wrist every so often and visually rewarding me when I follow its advice. The challenge in the absence of work is not to succumb to a range of new sitting activities like the following:

1.   Breakfast. This is by far our favorite time of the day. Fresh out of bed, having slept until perhaps 9am, our need for the sweet, warm comfort of coffee frequently glues us to our backsides for up to two hours. No more choking down half a bagel and some fruit before walking the dog in the rain and driving to the office in heavy traffic knowing full well you’ll be late, but doing your best to compress time. No, now we can make an egg scramble, crack the seal on a package of pastries and enjoy multiple cycles of the Keurig, wondering if we’ll have time for lunch before dinnertime.


2.   Two Mid-Day Versions of Relaxation: I am fortunate to have retired to the Southwest Gulf of Florida. I am currently writing this Blog about sitting on my butt while sitting on my butt, outside early in March. It is 85 degrees, the sun is shining and a gentle breeze is rustling several palm trees along the canal behind our house. I could quite literally spend hours doing this, and problem #1 being combined with problem #2, have breakfasted on the “lanai” many, many times.

I realize that many folks choose to retire up north, and can enjoy watching a gentle snow falling outside windows facing the serenity of their backyards. A crackling fireplace adds to the ambiance, and I’m sure we would have become quite pleasantly stuck to our chairs during the winter months had we retired in place.

3.   Evening Television: That vast wasteland has been tapped. By about 8pm we are firmly committed to streaming any of a variety of programs from one of at least four sources. This is done with feet up – a modification to the sitting position – and with a favorite snack, for the rest of the day. This is an insanely unhealthy lifestyle choice, but one that we like immensely.
I do not propose solutions in this article. That would require a greater amount of time sitting and my watch is already nagging me. I routinely employ a variety of tactics including swimming, biking, kayaking and an exercise class called Body Pump at our local YMCA where my membership is free now that I’m on Medicare. No, this article is meant to be a warning to those of you sitting at work, dreaming about retirement, that comfort cannot be allowed to triumph over struggle at any age and in every circumstance. Quality of life requires effort whether you’re 35 or 65. I recommend starting early with weight training, yoga and sensible eating. Challenge your body and your brain. But that doesn’t mean you can’t occasionally sit with a good book or engage in a period of mindfulness on a comfy couch. But by all means, leave your Apple Watch in another room. 

😎

If you like fiction and you're in the mood for over 50 short stories, please consider buying "Natural Selections," at Amazon.com.

Or if you'd prefer seventy non-fiction stories inspired by a town in Illinois, please consider buying Park Ridge Memories also on Amazon. Click on the image below.